And Going Darker Still...

Hurray! We've finally moved house and, most importantly of all (how did I live without Facebook???) we're back on-line. It was all a bit of a palava I have to say. Not just the move itself, which was without the shadow of a doubt, a nightmare, but getting back up and connected to t'internet (as they say up here). We used to be with Tesco, but after we moved out to the sticks we discovered that the telephone network out here seems to be working on the basis of some strange archaic system comprised mainly of paper cups and bits of string. A man from Tesco telephoned to explain that they were no longer able to provide us with internet access in the area in which we now lived because, he said, of the limitations on the exchange.

I use the word "explain" loosely. Indeed, this is perhaps the wrong word to use. The man in question was clearly not calling from their Customer Services Team. In fact, goodness knows where Tesco had been keeping him. He was clearly one of their boffins employed to administer their internet services and was definitely not used to dealing with/communicating with other human beings. His attempts at an explanation as to the reasons underlying their failure to provide an internet link at our address, I have to be honest, just baffled me more. Still, it was nice of him to call.

Next we tried Sky. They said, "Sure, we can do it, and you'll get to watch Sky Movies over Christmas too, and all for the price of our variety package at £17 per month." Brilliant. But... Then they followed this up with "Oh, hang on. We can't get network coverage there without renting it back from BT. That'll cost you another £17 a month." £34 then. Too expensive. Particularly given the expense of the move and the fact that we still have a house to sell in Sheffield. And, as my husband pointed out in a particularly skin-flinty moment, there's a perfectly good Sky dish on the side of the old house just waiting to be taken down and stuck on the side of our new one. All it needs is pointing in the general direction of the satellite. (I'm not sure about this myself, but he's good at this sort of stuff, so I'll just leave it to him. In fact, I'm not even going to think about it, even though I am, I admit, missing Cbeebies for the children's sake. There's only so many times you can sit through the Bob the Builder DVD which came free with The Daily Mail and not get sick of it.)

Anyway, all of this eventually led us to plus.com who can provide us with internet access in our area. (HURRAY!) So, yes, it's been hard. The whole move has been hard, but we're getting there (despite the fact that two commodes belonging to the previous occupants are still in situ in the lounge - but what the hell - I can stick some tinsel round them and make an original and unusual decoration for christmas). And there are disadvantages to living in the sticks. But, I love living here. It's just lovely. I can sit at the computer and see hills out of the window, instead of flats. We can walk 100 yards from our door and feed the ducks. I can see the spire to the village church from our bedroom window and hear the bells on Sunday (and Thursday night too, when it's clearly bell-ringing practice night). The running is great too. On Sunday morning I ran up a very big hill along a lane from Bakewell to Monyash. It was a long, empty road surrounded by hills which had turned pale green under a light covering of frost. There was a timeless feel up there. In fact, I forgot that there was such a thing as time and ran for so long that I couldn't feel my knees anymore and even my husband (who never worries about anything) had started to worry about me. When I ran/staggered back down the hill I ran into a charming village which is (charmingly) all lit up for Christmas.

But there are definite disadvantages too. If there is no telephone network coverage, there is hardly any street lighting either (well, beyond the Christmas trees). It's virtually impossible to run any distance at all in the dark (And at this time of year, there is a lot of dark). So I'm down to one run a week. And I'm losing fitness because of it. It can't continue. I've got to find a way to train in the dark. My guess is that it's going to involve running up and down the main street in my husband's high-viz jacket and a head-torch, getting harrassed by the groups of bored teenagers who are perpetually hanging around outside the Spar shop, but if that's the way it's got to be, then that's the way it's got to be. And at least I can now walk to the local swimming pool and it only takes five minutes to get there.

Oh yes. The local swimming poool. The fact that it is local makes it easier to train for the swimming, but the advantages kind of end there. Put it this way, it ain't Pond's Forge. In fact, it's a 20m pool which, (I'm reliably informed) you have to swim eighty lengths of to have swum a mile. This information is, however, in fact superfluous because it is virtually impossible to swim eight lengths in the pool, never mind eighty, due to the combination of the bikini-clad teenagers doing handstands in the shallow end of the pool and pensioners with implausibly hairy backs doing backstroke up and down the pool. (They make allowances for no-one - if you don't get out of their way, it's like being run over by one of those old-fashioned doormats made out of coconuts). The shallow end, incidentally, is also the shallowest shallow end I've ever before encountered. The water only comes up to my mid-calf. I'm not tall. I'm 5'4". I don't know how deep the deep end is, but I'm guessing that's not that deep either. In fact, more of a shallow deep end. Still, at least it's cheap. And near. And somewhere to swim.

In all honesty, I cannot wait for the swim part to be over. Sadly, the time between now and reaching that blissful moment in my existence is ten whole months. In the meantime, my first event (the Great Winter Run, 10th January) is looming, and I can't wait for that one. Not just because it's the first event, but because I'm combining it with a weekend away with my sister. Who says fundraising can't be fun?

Don't forget you can sponsor me now at http://www.justgiving.com/valderbyshire and join in with all this fun too.